This week was alot of work.
Actually it was, we talked about work, and the affects that it has on the family.
We discussed the history of work which I found very interesting. How it hasn't been until recently, since the industrial revolution, that families have been separated during work. Before then everyone did most everything together. Which I had never though about before. Yes there was still some division of labor but it was due to the skills that people possessed. Since men are generally stronger they would do some of the heavy lifting, and women and more detail oriented.

This is not the case anymore. Dad works outside of the home, and in many cases mom does too. The children used to work in factories, but now they are gone all day for school, then scouts, sports, dance, piano, and hundreds of other things.

I grew up working, and I love it. I don't have a job right now and so I feel extremely lazy. I used to get mad if there was family work that I wasn't able to do. Work has always been part of my life, and I see the benefits of it.

Communication and Conflict:
Two topics of this weeks discussions. We started off with communication which is something that I feel is always talked about when looking at relationships. But that is okay because there is always new things to learn.
words= 14%
tone= 35%
nonverbal=51%
these were the numbers that we used when looking at how we communicate. Even though there are many different studies that quote all sorts of percentages. But all of them have nonverbal as being the majority. Which is something that I find cool. How much we say when we are not saying anything.
Which brings me to something else that we talked about. Which is that you are always communicating. Even if you walk away or give people the silent treatment then you are still communicating some message. Which means you should always be aware of the messages you are sending.

We stated out our conversation of conflict by talking about power and what power actually is. The definition that we came up with was the ability to influence they way someone thinks feels, or behaves. And there are different types of power.
One of the things the book talked about was styles of conflict. When didn't go over this in class but I found it interesting. These are competition, avoidance, accommodation, compromise, and collaboration. I thought about what style I use. and I think it is one of two depending on the situation. I'm either accommodation, where I neglect what I want in order for the other person to have what they want. Which isn't always a good thing. But I realized that I am also collaboration. This is when you are very concerned about your interests but also the other's interests. I can think of situations where I wasn't going to give in, but at the same time I didn't want the other person to give in to me, because I cared about their opinions.

It is good to be aware of these things because once you realize how you operate you have a better ability to know what is going on. You can build your relationship, and work on establishing healthy boundaries.

This week we learned about family crisis.
We looked at how families can go through similar trials but the responses to it are completely different between families. This can be explained using the ABC-X model.
A- actual event
B-behavioral response
C- cognition (thoughts)
and then all those together equal X which is total experience.

We then went on to discuss the other things that effect how stressful a crisis is.
It can be internal or external, normative or nonnormative, ambiguous or non ambiguous, volitional or non volitional, chronic or acute, and cumulative or isolated.
One of the things that I found interesting from this list was volitional or non volitional. Because if we have some choice in the event then it is not as stressful to us. Because we like to feel in control.

We then talked about ways of coping with crisis.
If you are prepared for them, then they will not have the same effects, and the stress will push our families closer together instead of opening up a gap.

Responsibility during an event was another things we also discussed. How we need to recognize the responsibly that we have. But we also talked about in some crisis that we are the victim and didn't have control over the situation. but the responsibility for that is spelled response-ability. We are still in control of how we respond.

This week we discussed sexual intimacy. We went over a number of things but the part of the class that I learned the most from was a question and answer period.
One of the things that was asked was how much should you disclose to someone before you are married about past experiences.
I have always felt that you should tell them about past relationships. And there were people in our class who disagreed. Our teacher didn't have a answer but he did give us ideas to help us govern our decision.
Some of the things to consider are that with today's technology you don't know what people will post on facebook or say. You will never know when your spouse will find out. And many times the partner feels they were mislead if they find out later. Another thing he said that stood out was you can only make a good decision when informed. I just liked his explanation for this because I feel that you should be very open when the person you are going to marry.
We also covered teaching children about sex. We talked about the do's and the don'ts.
Here are the few things that I agree with:
Don't send the message that sex is bad. Because its not wrong, but you need to teach that it needs to be done within marriage and that it is very special and sacred.
don't use incorrect terminology. This can cause embarrassment when children don't know the actual term. and it makes sex shameful to talk about.

This week we moved on to learning about the wedding and the first kid.

We started off my talking about the proposal. We were asked to think about if the proposal mattered or not. I thought no, not really. But as we discussed it I came to see that the proposal is very important. Because they way you start the relationship off is the way it will continue. So if you don't have clarity in the proposal then the relationship will be lacking clarity all throughout. And we talked about the man asking the girls father for permission. Which has always bugged me. I figure that I am the he should be asking. I'm not owned by anyone, even though I love and respect my dad. But it is a good thing because you are acknowledging the parents, which sets up the relationship to start out on a good foot. Because the parents are more likely to let you do your own thing if you recognize their roles. And if doesn't have to be permission it can just be asking for support and letting them know your intentions. 
After all you don't just marry a person, you marry into a family.

Another thing that we discussed was the first child, and how marital satisfaction decreases after the first child. We talked about a number of reasons that this happens, but the part that I find interesting is how we can stop this from happening.
-The wife should involve the husband. let him feel the baby kick, help pick out the name, go to doctor appointments with her.
-The wife should not complain, by this I mean don't regret the baby because your miserable, remember that your love created this child
-planning ways to have the husband involved during the birth
-keep the couples mothers out of the delivery room

Then we focused on how there is a sacred part of having a child. It is a beautiful thing, and God wants to guide us and direct us. So always turn to him.
That applies into every aspect of life, but the decisions of who to marry and when to have children are especially important, and we need his guidance as we do.